The Spiritual Side of Life

So, this is a 'spiritual' blog. Yeah, I've had LOADS on my plate. Although, I need all of you to sign this statement (Okay, MENTALLY)

I,__________________, will NOT talk to ANYBODY about ANYTHING I read hear, unless I receive permission from Cassie the Sassie Lassie.

There.


I'm having problems with my... 'ward'. People are being jerks. First off, I have had this question for a while.

They tell us to be 'nice' to people from out of our church. That includes many, even the 'goth' or 'emo' kids. But then you hear, "You can't be friends with them. They might rub off on you."

Okay, that makes a lot of sense. Am I just supposed to stand six feet away and RADIATE the love of Christ? I'm not THAT good. I could try, but they'll look at me like I'm a freak, especially if I hold a flash light, saying "I'm radiating the love of Christ." Yeah, right. (I LOVE YOU, GOD!!!)

So, then, my leaders... they're so nosy! I work all the time, and the best way to contact me really, is by e-mail. But I'm not giving them my e-mail address. So then, they found out I work, and WHERE I work, so guess where they call? At my work place. I don't even THINK of picking up the phone when they call. I've even asked them, "Don't call at work. I think it is inappropriate and do not appreciate it." They say, "OK", and two weeks later, I get a call from one of them.

I'm also taking summer classes, and sometimes, I come home late (three the latest), but they call at like, one or two! (pm) My brother told me this conversation took place.

Bird Lady: Is Cassie there?
Tacoman: No. She stepped out.
Bird Lady: Where is she?
Tacoman: I don't know.
Bird Lady: When will she be back?
Tacoman: I don't know.
Bird Lady: Oh. So where is she? (ARE YOU SERIOUS?)
Tacoman: I think she's at school.
Bird Lady: Does she have a cell phone?
Tacoman: no.
Bird Lady: Oh. Will you take a message? Write this down. Are you ready?
Tacoman: Okay.
Bird lady: Sis. (Bird Lady) called.
Tacoman (thinking): ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

As far as I'm concerned, he didn't write it down, but did tell me. Yeah.

Now, I'm supposed to be patient with them. How am I supposed to be patient and 'love' and 'support' leaders, who all I hear about are BAD things?

"Yes, Sis. Red-Head loves us, but she's kind of pushy."

"Sis. Red-Head told my mom she deserves a better daughter (in front of my face!) and said it's because she 'loves' me."

Sis. Red-Head loves us, and then forces us to do things. Things even SHE doesn't do. WHAT IS THIS CRAP?! I don't play by those rules. I am SOOOO ditching this ward. Love the church. I love Jesus. But leaders are just dumb sometimes.

So how am I supposed to enjoy YW? Girl's Camp Menu has changed, as has housing, and they're putting other girls from OTHER wards into our cabins. It's going to be dumb. I feel that the YW presidency is corrupt. I REALLY don't want to go to camp. I have expressed the 'lack' of desires, and Momma Bear, at first, said, "It'll be okay. you need to go to be an influence on the girls."

WHAT GIRLS?!

Nobody pays attention to me. (Except Blonde Chica, and she's going with another ward, anyway!) Now, Momma Bear says I can opt out, but I've paid the fee, I've been going to the meetings that I, as a now 16-year-old, am required to go to, people are counting on me... JUST A LITTLE TOO LATE!!!

Don't get me wrong, I love my mother, but as most teenagers, I don't feel she sees things the way I do. Unless I express myself VEHEMENTLY!!!!

So, I now HAVE to go to girl's camp. I'm not too happy with the ward. Ironically, a Sunday School lesson we had (my friend told me-I was gone), was 'Don't judge the church by the people'. It's too bad, because I wish that the Prophet could see and/or hear some of the things going on. These things are NOT. RIGHT. It upsets me.

To along with this 'corruption' theme, I found a quote by CS Lewis. First of all, my grandma was getting rid of her books, and among them was this CS Lewis quote book. I try and read one every night. THIS GUY IS BRILLIANT. So, anyway, I figured with corruption, goes temptation. It's a favorite quote of mine, and I WILL give proper... copyright-age? I don't know. Anyway...\

"A silly idea is current that good people do not knnow what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. ONly those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is...A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: ande Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means--the only complete realist."
-C.S. Lewis, Mere christianity, bk. III, chap. 11, para. 7, pp. 124-125

Just one more thing. In lieu of July 4th (didn't blog then, either!), I received an e-mail from my grandmother. She is wonderful, and I have to say I LOVE her and the crazy e-mails she sends me. One was a July 4th powerpoint presentation, with pictures of our flag, and our services in Iraq. I ALWAYS tear up when I see pictures like these. They simply touch the heart.

At the end was a quote similar to this:

"Only two people you know of have willingly died for you: Jesus Christ, and the G.I. Force. One (Christ) died for your salvation.

"The other died for your freedom."

That struck me in the heart. Just RIGHT. THERE. I nearly broke into tears (I was in public, and had to hid said tears). I fiercely believe we are a blessed people to live in the USA, and our presidents (all of them) try to keep it that way. There will always be rumors, but we don't REALLY know. We can only hope.