It had been approximately 4 months, 1 week, 4 days, 4 hours and 40 minutes since Someone had hit the reset button in her life. Many things had come to pass in that time, and while most of them were good, she would always find a reason to complain; wouldn't we all?
Approximately 4 months, 1 week, 4 days, 4 hours, and 40 minutes ago, a heart had stopped beating. While it was not hers, it had most certainly felt like it. She watched as no one even skipped a beat in picking up the pieces, how people continued to hustle and bustle, how the world had not ceased moving; she stood in awe.
Sometimes, she wanted to scream. Sometimes, she felt overwhelmed, and sometimes she felt like no one was really listening to her. But Someone had, more or less. Someone special.
Someone sent people, opportunities, and special gifts to her in those 4 months approximation of time, and, she realized, Someone was still sending them. Someone helped her realized that yes, these things happen: hearts stop, people die, and we lose things-people-yet we must move on. There were other things-other people-who needed us to move on. Sometimes, those 'people' happened to be an individual at a bus stop who needed to hear what she believed. Sometimes, it was just a coworker who needed her to cover a shift whilst said coworker was ill and away.
But Someone also sent special moments-quiet, peaceful moments-in which that heart that stopped 4 months ago would come and hold her hand. It was not every day-it was not even every week! But that heart had continued beating on a spiritual plane, and watched her progress very closely.
October 19, 2012
July 10, 2012
X Wedding(s) and A Funeral
"What about those colors?"
"Well, sure, but I want my wedding in the spring. Those colors just don't work."
"How about these flowers? Ooh, those shoes would look FABULOUS!!!"
"How about this cake? I'm loving it!!!"
These are the things that girls talk about. Except me. Personally it's annoying. Especially with this new pinterest craze, everyone is pinning things that they are 100% sure that *THIS* is what is going to happen on their wedding day.
Does it?
I think not.
With recent events occuring, I have decided it would be a little bit...smarter to plan my funeral!
Regardless of how I die, my obituary will state that I was doing something heroic (saving a puppy or a child-you get the idea), and the organs that CAN be donated SHOULD BE donated (I should still try and save lives, right?). After this is done, my lovely little body will be sent to be cremated, where my ashes go to either A) one of those urns that reads "Ashes of problem students", or B) A super mega fancy urn.
The funeral will involve people lining up and passing the open urn, and if they so desire, they may spit in the urn (I know, gross).
THEN.... I would LOVE for my immediate family (Mom, Dad and sibs) to jump on a plane STRAIGHT. TO. IRELAND.
Where they will tour the Emerald Isle and spread my ashes (they may keep a handful if they so desire).
I often joke with people I plan on having a funeral before I plan on having kids.
Did I mention nothing in my life has gone the way as planned?
"Well, sure, but I want my wedding in the spring. Those colors just don't work."
"How about these flowers? Ooh, those shoes would look FABULOUS!!!"
"How about this cake? I'm loving it!!!"
These are the things that girls
Does it?
I think not.
With recent events occuring, I have decided it would be a little bit...smarter to plan my funeral!
Regardless of how I die, my obituary will state that I was doing something heroic (saving a puppy or a child-you get the idea), and the organs that CAN be donated SHOULD BE donated (I should still try and save lives, right?). After this is done, my lovely little body will be sent to be cremated, where my ashes go to either A) one of those urns that reads "Ashes of problem students", or B) A super mega fancy urn.
The funeral will involve people lining up and passing the open urn, and if they so desire, they may spit in the urn (I know, gross).
THEN.... I would LOVE for my immediate family (Mom, Dad and sibs) to jump on a plane STRAIGHT. TO. IRELAND.
Where they will tour the Emerald Isle and spread my ashes (they may keep a handful if they so desire).
I often joke with people I plan on having a funeral before I plan on having kids.
Did I mention nothing in my life has gone the way as planned?
June 21, 2012
Beautiful
I just finished a 7-week course of school. The class, Healthy Lifestyles, was just awesome!!! There were approximately 30 students, and people of literally every skin, gender, age.... it was awesome! We had people from Pakistan, Egypt, and across the country. Some were married, some single, some had kids, some didn't...
Everyone was put into a group (there were six groups), and each group would do a presentation on a different topic. My group was 'Stress Relaxation' (everyone loved us). It was so much fun! We did a breathing exercise, some yoga and then some progressive muscle relaxation. Did I mention it was amazing?
Anyway, I became close friends with a girl in my group. She had come from Taiwan a few years ago to restart her life here in America. It was such an eye opening experience!
Perhaps one of my favorite memories took place on a test day. We would take the test in class, and when we finished, we would sit outside in the hallway, quietly and patiently. So there we were, this [slightly older] woman and I, and she suddenly she turned to me and said, "I think you are absolutely beautiful." I froze.
"E-excuse me?" My face went red.
"You are just... so beautiful. You remind me of these Taiwanese cartoons I used to watch when I was younger, and they were so beautiuful. And so are you."
This has never, EVER happened to me before. She was practically a stranger (we did become very close after that). I almost cried.
But I've felt kind of changed, like "Yeah, you know what? I am beautiful." And I've felt like maybe I should start saying this to other people, because if it's the truth, then you need to know it! So if I randomly compliment you, accept it and then turn around and pass it on!
Everyone was put into a group (there were six groups), and each group would do a presentation on a different topic. My group was 'Stress Relaxation' (everyone loved us). It was so much fun! We did a breathing exercise, some yoga and then some progressive muscle relaxation. Did I mention it was amazing?
Anyway, I became close friends with a girl in my group. She had come from Taiwan a few years ago to restart her life here in America. It was such an eye opening experience!
Perhaps one of my favorite memories took place on a test day. We would take the test in class, and when we finished, we would sit outside in the hallway, quietly and patiently. So there we were, this [slightly older] woman and I, and she suddenly she turned to me and said, "I think you are absolutely beautiful." I froze.
"E-excuse me?" My face went red.
"You are just... so beautiful. You remind me of these Taiwanese cartoons I used to watch when I was younger, and they were so beautiuful. And so are you."
This has never, EVER happened to me before. She was practically a stranger (we did become very close after that). I almost cried.
But I've felt kind of changed, like "Yeah, you know what? I am beautiful." And I've felt like maybe I should start saying this to other people, because if it's the truth, then you need to know it! So if I randomly compliment you, accept it and then turn around and pass it on!
June 5, 2012
Happily Ever After
As I've recently found, life can be awesome, or life can suck. It really just depends on your outlook on life. I've pretty much always been a Negative Nellie, and thought I'd always be this way. I'm slowly becoming more of a realist, with a touch of optimism. It was a very hard lesson to learn, and I can be pretty hard on myself.
But, like I said, I'm changing. And it's hard. I've been pretty comfortable with who I am (for the most part), but I decided that I could be better. Maybe I could be a little more outgoing. I'm not to big on changing outward appearances (especially using plastic surgery), but I could change who I was inside. I was kind of an angry person who just sat around complaining about everything. And then when things didn't go my way, I wondered why. Well, DUH!
So I started feeling more sorry for myself, and I could tell it was rubbing on other people, which by the way, is SO NOT COOL. Thus, the reason for change.
I'm trying to look at life with a better outlook. Yeah, tough things happen, but A-No one has the perfect life, which means B-No one is perfect, which leads to C-How are you going to handle what is handed to you?
I just let other people control things for me. I can't make a decision to save my life-literally. If God were to ask me if I was to stay or go, here's how the conversation would probably go:
The Big Guy: "Well, Cass, do you want to live or die?"
Cass: "Well, you know best. Which would be better?"
The Big Guy: "Cass, this is YOUR life, and it is YOUR decision."
Cass: "Well, if I live, I'll have to go through a bunch of stuff and have lots of highs and lots of lows. If I die, I might not get to experience that, but I would still get to watch the world descend into garbage. I don't care, really. You can choose."
The Big Guy: "Cass, you need to make a decision."
Cass: "Well, I honestly don't care..."
And so on and so forth. But that's changing. I've always heard people say, "Well, you need to take control of your life. Make sure you can tell your kids exciting things." And stuff like that, but it didn't mean anything to me. I just figured I'd tell my *imaginary* kids "Well, I didn't drink, smoke or have pre-marital sex, so it's all good."
But something changed. Maybe it was after that good bonk on the head the Sweet Lord gave me that night I decided to change... I don't know. But I felt the change, and honestly, JK Rowling says it best, “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.”
And that makes sense to me. You have to go out there and TRY to do something. No, you won't be the best, but at least you tried, right?
It would be great to see what happens to me at the end of my life: who do I end up with (if with anyone at all)? My kids, my career, my pets... Did I do something cool?
Maybe one day I'll tell my kids, "Well, I know that I can't four-wheel, but at least I tried, right?"
So, seriously, try something new today. And enjoy it!
But, like I said, I'm changing. And it's hard. I've been pretty comfortable with who I am (for the most part), but I decided that I could be better. Maybe I could be a little more outgoing. I'm not to big on changing outward appearances (especially using plastic surgery), but I could change who I was inside. I was kind of an angry person who just sat around complaining about everything. And then when things didn't go my way, I wondered why. Well, DUH!
So I started feeling more sorry for myself, and I could tell it was rubbing on other people, which by the way, is SO NOT COOL. Thus, the reason for change.
I'm trying to look at life with a better outlook. Yeah, tough things happen, but A-No one has the perfect life, which means B-No one is perfect, which leads to C-How are you going to handle what is handed to you?
I just let other people control things for me. I can't make a decision to save my life-literally. If God were to ask me if I was to stay or go, here's how the conversation would probably go:
The Big Guy: "Well, Cass, do you want to live or die?"
Cass: "Well, you know best. Which would be better?"
The Big Guy: "Cass, this is YOUR life, and it is YOUR decision."
Cass: "Well, if I live, I'll have to go through a bunch of stuff and have lots of highs and lots of lows. If I die, I might not get to experience that, but I would still get to watch the world descend into garbage. I don't care, really. You can choose."
The Big Guy: "Cass, you need to make a decision."
Cass: "Well, I honestly don't care..."
And so on and so forth. But that's changing. I've always heard people say, "Well, you need to take control of your life. Make sure you can tell your kids exciting things." And stuff like that, but it didn't mean anything to me. I just figured I'd tell my *imaginary* kids "Well, I didn't drink, smoke or have pre-marital sex, so it's all good."
But something changed. Maybe it was after that good bonk on the head the Sweet Lord gave me that night I decided to change... I don't know. But I felt the change, and honestly, JK Rowling says it best, “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.”
And that makes sense to me. You have to go out there and TRY to do something. No, you won't be the best, but at least you tried, right?
It would be great to see what happens to me at the end of my life: who do I end up with (if with anyone at all)? My kids, my career, my pets... Did I do something cool?
Maybe one day I'll tell my kids, "Well, I know that I can't four-wheel, but at least I tried, right?"
So, seriously, try something new today. And enjoy it!
May 14, 2012
Confidence
So there's a good chance that I've been going through a lot of crap lately, and that I've been depressed, especially in the earlier part of the year. I just didn't care any more, about ANYTHING. My grades? Meh. School? As if. Friends? I didn't even exist!
Then school ended, and I had two weeks on my hand: no school, and basically NO work. NOW what do I do? The depression sort of-kinda-maybe started REALLY sinking in, just a little bit before school ended. I remember waking up one particular morning and looking up at my ceiling, and feeling, "You know, I REALLY don't want to get up today." I've never really felt anything like this. Yeah, school was 'boring' and 'lame', but I had places to be, people to see and other things to do, so I just had to go. But that morning it was like, "Who cares? I could just lay here all day, and no one would give a #@$!, right?"
But I got up anyway. No, the day probably didn't end well, but I marched forward, dragging my feet EVERY. STEP. OF. THE. WAY.
And then school did end, and the depression seemed to taper (why?) and I started getting over the fact that my "class had ended". For about two nights in a row, I cried myself to sleep, and no one knew, not even my mom.
This is the thing about being shy-you don't anyone to see you do anything, that you deal with life quietly and out-of-the-way, and I'm shy to the point that I don't want to....'burden' my parents with anything I'm going through (I have three brothers, they have enough to worry about). To me, I feel like I'm doing them a favor, but I think if some professional psychologist (or someone similar) was to read this, they'd think I was nuts.
That second night, I prayed my heart out. Why didn't things seem to be going my way? Why was I the way I am? I prayed that night dearly, and told God I was sorry he had such a pathetic daughter. There were a lot of other not-nice things I said about myself that night, too.
And with those thoughts in my head, I drifted off to sleep.
Now, I don't know if I had a dream, or an angel (a very angry angel) came and visited me that night or WHAT, but the next morning, I got up, and looked in the mirror, and I felt different.
"Cass, you have GOT to pull yourself up by your boot straps. Maybe you were pathetic, and self-pitying before, but that's GOT to change. You cannot be this person any more."
And just like that, I felt new. I couldn't feel sorry for myself any more. I wasn't going to let my feeling over a boy change how I acted, much less my personality. So I drop-kicked those feelings into outer space, and moved on. Things have definitely changed for me, and anytime I feel that sadness or anything close, that voice pipes up in my head, "Now, now, Cass-we said we WEREN'T going to do this. Pull yourself up by your boot straps. NO MORE PITY PARTIES!!!"
And that, dear readers, is where I am at today. I am working on my self confidence today!!!
Then school ended, and I had two weeks on my hand: no school, and basically NO work. NOW what do I do? The depression sort of-kinda-maybe started REALLY sinking in, just a little bit before school ended. I remember waking up one particular morning and looking up at my ceiling, and feeling, "You know, I REALLY don't want to get up today." I've never really felt anything like this. Yeah, school was 'boring' and 'lame', but I had places to be, people to see and other things to do, so I just had to go. But that morning it was like, "Who cares? I could just lay here all day, and no one would give a #@$!, right?"
But I got up anyway. No, the day probably didn't end well, but I marched forward, dragging my feet EVERY. STEP. OF. THE. WAY.
And then school did end, and the depression seemed to taper (why?) and I started getting over the fact that my "class had ended". For about two nights in a row, I cried myself to sleep, and no one knew, not even my mom.
This is the thing about being shy-you don't anyone to see you do anything, that you deal with life quietly and out-of-the-way, and I'm shy to the point that I don't want to....'burden' my parents with anything I'm going through (I have three brothers, they have enough to worry about). To me, I feel like I'm doing them a favor, but I think if some professional psychologist (or someone similar) was to read this, they'd think I was nuts.
That second night, I prayed my heart out. Why didn't things seem to be going my way? Why was I the way I am? I prayed that night dearly, and told God I was sorry he had such a pathetic daughter. There were a lot of other not-nice things I said about myself that night, too.
And with those thoughts in my head, I drifted off to sleep.
Now, I don't know if I had a dream, or an angel (a very angry angel) came and visited me that night or WHAT, but the next morning, I got up, and looked in the mirror, and I felt different.
"Cass, you have GOT to pull yourself up by your boot straps. Maybe you were pathetic, and self-pitying before, but that's GOT to change. You cannot be this person any more."
And just like that, I felt new. I couldn't feel sorry for myself any more. I wasn't going to let my feeling over a boy change how I acted, much less my personality. So I drop-kicked those feelings into outer space, and moved on. Things have definitely changed for me, and anytime I feel that sadness or anything close, that voice pipes up in my head, "Now, now, Cass-we said we WEREN'T going to do this. Pull yourself up by your boot straps. NO MORE PITY PARTIES!!!"
And that, dear readers, is where I am at today. I am working on my self confidence today!!!
April 9, 2012
Thank You
NOTE: This is probably the last blog/FB post about this, for sheer privacy reasons :)
Dear Secret Crush,
Thank You.
Depression affects most (if not all) people. And that's where I had just come from. Suffice to say that I was at my lowest low, and for some reason, I looked up one day and you were there. The only thing I can describe it as waking up, slowly, out of a terrible nightmare and into the glorious daylight.
It has been said, "Life is like an hourglass. Eventually, everything hits the bottom, and there is nothing you can do but wait until someone comes along and turns it around." And that's EXACTLY how it turned out.
You have turned my life from this ugly, dark blob of stress into this refreshing, sweet sigh of relief. I'm alive, I'm happy, and I'm free!
No, this....'relationship' (I hate to call it that because we barely know each other) may not go anywhere, but you have changed my perspective on the world. I am renowned in my neighborhood for being 'the boy hater'. I don't necessarily hate boys, I just don't like them. I was not boy crazy like all my girlfriends were in high school, and even threatened to punch a friend because she wouldn't stop talking about boys (we were at girl's camp, and it must've been late because I don't remember saying that).
You've changed me. This new...'soft' side has come out (barely, but it is), and I will just have to learn to like boys-college boys are much more mature, right?
So again, thank you.
Sincerely,
Cassie
PS-This does not mean I DON'T have a crush on you-I still do :)
Dear Secret Crush,
Thank You.
Depression affects most (if not all) people. And that's where I had just come from. Suffice to say that I was at my lowest low, and for some reason, I looked up one day and you were there. The only thing I can describe it as waking up, slowly, out of a terrible nightmare and into the glorious daylight.
It has been said, "Life is like an hourglass. Eventually, everything hits the bottom, and there is nothing you can do but wait until someone comes along and turns it around." And that's EXACTLY how it turned out.
You have turned my life from this ugly, dark blob of stress into this refreshing, sweet sigh of relief. I'm alive, I'm happy, and I'm free!
No, this....'relationship' (I hate to call it that because we barely know each other) may not go anywhere, but you have changed my perspective on the world. I am renowned in my neighborhood for being 'the boy hater'. I don't necessarily hate boys, I just don't like them. I was not boy crazy like all my girlfriends were in high school, and even threatened to punch a friend because she wouldn't stop talking about boys (we were at girl's camp, and it must've been late because I don't remember saying that).
You've changed me. This new...'soft' side has come out (barely, but it is), and I will just have to learn to like boys-college boys are much more mature, right?
So again, thank you.
Sincerely,
Cassie
PS-This does not mean I DON'T have a crush on you-I still do :)
March 30, 2012
Sincerely, Your Lovesick Idiot
NOTE: Please keep in mind that I am a SUPER shy person, and it is very hard for me to reach out to people (even little kids, but especially boys I may/not have a crush on), so this is a HUGE step for me.
Dear Secret Crush,
Yesterday was amazing! First of all, I had a plan (because I'm organizized that way), and here was my 'genius' plan: I knew there was a girl who sat next to you, but she always came late, so I would come (ON TIME), and ask if I could sit next to you, and if any questions arose, I had a dentist appointment and I needed to leave early and didn't want to make much noise when leaving.
So I came into class, and you were already there, so I asked if I could sit next to you and you smiled at me (ME!), and then said, "Of course", and I couldn't believe it. So then we started talking about my lovely bus pass that lets me have access to any UTA (Utah Transit Authority) service, and then you asked me where I live (in general, not specific), and I told you the name of my teeny tiny town and you said, "Where's that?" and I laughed. "Do you know where (next-closest town) is?" You nodded. "Just west." You nodded again, "That's what I thought." And then the professor came in (lousy professor).
So we discussed math (that is, after all, the class we take together), and then I had to clarify for you what the professor had written (he hates writing with white-erase boards, and much prefers chalkboards, and thus scribbles terribly on the white board), and then we got confused about a certain math topic, but then let it go because the professor had moved on.
But I never did hi-ho it out of there early like I was supposed to, but that's okay (the best is yet to come). I went down the hall, and because I was ahead of you, I "checked my e-mail" on my phone, which caused me to slow down, and then as I exited the door, I held it open for-YOU! Then we started up on the confusing math topic, only you had figured it out and had to explain it to me, and then we discussed whether we did homework (you do) or not (I don't), and then we discussed the upcoming test, as well as the math final we still had.... and then we went our separate ways.
The best part? It felt very mutual.
The worst part? I didn't even get your name.
Dear Secret Crush,
Yesterday was amazing! First of all, I had a plan (because I'm organizized that way), and here was my 'genius' plan: I knew there was a girl who sat next to you, but she always came late, so I would come (ON TIME), and ask if I could sit next to you, and if any questions arose, I had a dentist appointment and I needed to leave early and didn't want to make much noise when leaving.
So I came into class, and you were already there, so I asked if I could sit next to you and you smiled at me (ME!), and then said, "Of course", and I couldn't believe it. So then we started talking about my lovely bus pass that lets me have access to any UTA (Utah Transit Authority) service, and then you asked me where I live (in general, not specific), and I told you the name of my teeny tiny town and you said, "Where's that?" and I laughed. "Do you know where (next-closest town) is?" You nodded. "Just west." You nodded again, "That's what I thought." And then the professor came in (lousy professor).
So we discussed math (that is, after all, the class we take together), and then I had to clarify for you what the professor had written (he hates writing with white-erase boards, and much prefers chalkboards, and thus scribbles terribly on the white board), and then we got confused about a certain math topic, but then let it go because the professor had moved on.
But I never did hi-ho it out of there early like I was supposed to, but that's okay (the best is yet to come). I went down the hall, and because I was ahead of you, I "checked my e-mail" on my phone, which caused me to slow down, and then as I exited the door, I held it open for-YOU! Then we started up on the confusing math topic, only you had figured it out and had to explain it to me, and then we discussed whether we did homework (you do) or not (I don't), and then we discussed the upcoming test, as well as the math final we still had.... and then we went our separate ways.
The best part? It felt very mutual.
The worst part? I didn't even get your name.
February 28, 2012
Changes
All right, I guess I'll blog.
Seriously, though, it's hardly my fault that I haven't blogged. First of all, some...changes have occurred, and I've been waiting for the dust to settle before I explain, but the dust is STILL settling, so here it goes anyway. Also, I've been sick and school just finished (or is it just starting?) midterms. Blech...
The first of these... 'changes' came back in November where some of you may (not) have seen my hair cut. I thought I liked it, but now I hate it-it's at an impossible stage where it's too short to pull back into a pony tail but I still have loads of fly-aways. I've been trying my best, but it's not too good. Anyhow, it's been 3 or 3 1/2 months now that I've cut it, so it's getting longer (although it sure is TAKING ITS SWEET TIME!!!) But another physical change is my face! (I know, so many jokes possible, but please, refrain)
Okay, besides the fact I look like a TOTAL goof, I got glasses. We did buy contacts, but for the past week or so, I've been sticking with glasses. It's only been three or four years since I've had glasses, but it was still hard to get used to...
Another change? MY PHONE!! It's been about one year that I've had my own cell phone, and I decided to upgrade to a Samsung Galaxy Prevail :)
Super snazzy, super awesome! It's considered a smartphone (a droid, to be more specific), and I LOVE it! It even comes with Swype, which I also love.
And I got a bunch of accessories, including (my favorite!) a puppy paws case... I know, but what did you expect from me?
And now for the third 'change': my career. Ever since I was 6, I've wanted to be a vet. It was my one true love-well, okay, ANIMALS were my one true love, but helping them was good, too, right? But things this semester have seemed to just fall apart, and I've decided to take my life in a different direction.
Because I love my mom and she taught me well, before I approached her with this, I decided to come up with a plan of where I did want to go. So I just took the next best thing-yoga. I took yoga in high school (twice, might I add), and I loved it! So I presented the plan to my mom, and officially changed my major to a Human Performance Management major.I looked into it, and it felt good. Needless to say, Momma Bear was a little shocked, but I was sure that was what I wanted to do.
Well, Momma Bear was sure I wasn't going to be able to live off of a yoga teacher's salary (although, in my defense, I wanted to teach High School or college yoga), but I, too, felt that yoga was not the right thing, however I liked the degree.
So I'm sticking with my Human Performance Management degree for now, until I find what to do with it (I will take a class where we find out what jobs we can do with it). I've though (and am still thinking) about other degrees, but that's where I am right now. Yeah, maybe I'll do something with animals on the side, like behavioral training or something, but we'll just see where life takes me.
Seriously, though, it's hardly my fault that I haven't blogged. First of all, some...changes have occurred, and I've been waiting for the dust to settle before I explain, but the dust is STILL settling, so here it goes anyway. Also, I've been sick and school just finished (or is it just starting?) midterms. Blech...
The first of these... 'changes' came back in November where some of you may (not) have seen my hair cut. I thought I liked it, but now I hate it-it's at an impossible stage where it's too short to pull back into a pony tail but I still have loads of fly-aways. I've been trying my best, but it's not too good. Anyhow, it's been 3 or 3 1/2 months now that I've cut it, so it's getting longer (although it sure is TAKING ITS SWEET TIME!!!) But another physical change is my face! (I know, so many jokes possible, but please, refrain)
Another change? MY PHONE!! It's been about one year that I've had my own cell phone, and I decided to upgrade to a Samsung Galaxy Prevail :)
Because I love my mom and she taught me well, before I approached her with this, I decided to come up with a plan of where I did want to go. So I just took the next best thing-yoga. I took yoga in high school (twice, might I add), and I loved it! So I presented the plan to my mom, and officially changed my major to a Human Performance Management major.I looked into it, and it felt good. Needless to say, Momma Bear was a little shocked, but I was sure that was what I wanted to do.
Well, Momma Bear was sure I wasn't going to be able to live off of a yoga teacher's salary (although, in my defense, I wanted to teach High School or college yoga), but I, too, felt that yoga was not the right thing, however I liked the degree.
So I'm sticking with my Human Performance Management degree for now, until I find what to do with it (I will take a class where we find out what jobs we can do with it). I've though (and am still thinking) about other degrees, but that's where I am right now. Yeah, maybe I'll do something with animals on the side, like behavioral training or something, but we'll just see where life takes me.
February 14, 2012
Pan-Universal Be Who You Are Day
Hello! I have decided to post today about "V-Day". If you are anything like me, then sometimes this day sorta-kinda-maybe scares you. Luckily, we are not alone. The lovely Kristin Cashore, an author, also feels this way and has proposed "Pan-Universal Be Who You Are Day". I have 'borrowed' this blog from her, with many of her own words here.
"I also don't like this about Valentine's Day: it tries to divide people up into two neat categories. (1) People who are madly in love and happy. (2) People who are single, sad, lonely, pathetic, and deserving of our pity.
Seriously? It's so reductive! There are a gazillion kinds of people; there are a gazillion kinds of relationships and ways to live; there isn't one good, happy way to be and one bad, sad way to be. Stop being so unimaginative, world!"
Haha-love it! She's great. I totally agree with the different types of relationships, because everyone is an individual, no? And are we not all different in even the most tiny microscopic way? It's AMAZING!!!! So, here is her list of "people you can be on this day":
"
These are seriously her words. Go check it OUT!!! Happy Pan-Universal Be Who You Are Day!!!
"I also don't like this about Valentine's Day: it tries to divide people up into two neat categories. (1) People who are madly in love and happy. (2) People who are single, sad, lonely, pathetic, and deserving of our pity.
Seriously? It's so reductive! There are a gazillion kinds of people; there are a gazillion kinds of relationships and ways to live; there isn't one good, happy way to be and one bad, sad way to be. Stop being so unimaginative, world!"
Haha-love it! She's great. I totally agree with the different types of relationships, because everyone is an individual, no? And are we not all different in even the most tiny microscopic way? It's AMAZING!!!! So, here is her list of "people you can be on this day":
"
- A person who is thinking about beginning a relationship but isn't sure.
- A person who is thinking about ending a relationship but isn't sure.
- A person who has decided to have a boyfriend and a shop on Etsy instead of a wife and a law degree, even though it will anger his mother.
- A person who has decided to have a cat and an emu instead of kids, even though it will baffle her father (and also the emu might bite him. Though the argument could be made that so might the kids).
- A person who is holding the hand of his lover who is about to have sex reassignment surgery.
- Children eating lollypops.
- A person who wants what she doesn't want and doesn't want what she wants and often can't figure out what she wants and often can't have what she wants and sometimes has what she doesn't want and frankly feels RATHER UNSETTLED MUCH OF THE TIME.
A person who's in love with the Ryan Gosling Hey Girl Library tumblr. - A person who's in love with the Rachel Maddow Hey Girl tumblr.
- A person with a broken heart who is sobbing.
- A person who feels that just because a relationship ended, that doesn't mean it failed.
- A person who would love to think about Valentine's Day and his one true love, if only he hadn't just gotten out of surgery and can't move.
- A person who loves Valentine's Day, wears pink, has heart socks, loves being in love, and has a big romantic day planned.
- A person who is helping her toddlers make their first valentines.
- A single parent who is trying to find the right partner. Also, a single parent who isn't trying to find a partner, because they don't want one.
- A person who's in love with more than one person.
- A person who thinks he'll never find anyone who understands him.
- A person who is recovering from a painful event and is nowhere near being ready to think about sharing herself with someone else.
- A single person who loves being single.
- A person in a traditional relationship.
- A Cylon who fell in love and consequently messed up someone else's life by accident, because she didn't know she was a Cylon. Listen, these things happen.
- A doctor and war veteran whose deepest love is a brilliant socially-maladaptive consulting detective who shoots holes in the wall when he's bored.
- The third daughter in an early-20th-century aristocratic Yorkshire family who thinks she might be in love with the Irish revolutionary chauffeur, but it's confusing, because it would be an enormous blow to her family, and also, he can kinda be a jerk sometimes.
- An author who might be watching too much TV?
- An extraterrestrial named Blorkybeans (loose translation) who is enjoying her post-heartbreak intergalactic port city cruise more than she expected to, because it turns out she's good at making friends, even though her ex tried to convince her she wasn't. Anyway, he looked like a glorpyplotch. (That's like an extraterrestrial version of an octopus.)
- Me.
- You.
These are seriously her words. Go check it OUT!!! Happy Pan-Universal Be Who You Are Day!!!
February 2, 2012
Updates
All right, I'm sorry I haven't 'tuned in' lately. My internet was down, and school has just been a mess! But there are changes coming...HUGE changes (because bleaching and cutting my hair wasn't enough). I hope all is well with everyone, and I'll be here when I get here.
January 7, 2012
The Warmth that Music Brings!
As has been seen, I am a HUGE lover of music-playing an instrument, listening to it...if I had the guts for it, I'd probably dance to it!
I (literally) take it with me everywhere I go. It's a cheap MP3-from Satan's 5-and-dime (Walmart, if you must)-but it works. I can access the radio and my own music downloaded from the computer, and I can take pictures and record video...but I hardly ever need the video/pic stuff. HOWEVER, I can record songs from the radio, which is fabulous (for someone who doesn't have an iTunes account).
I go to school, and it takes me almost an hour and half just to get there, so guess what? I NEED MY MUSIC. This really revs me up for the day, and sometimes I am even just a wee bit more outgoing. KT Tunstall's "Suddenly I See", for instance, is fabulous! Sometimes I feel like it's talking about me (although not always), and I just feel like, "YES!!! I can conquer the world today!"
For Christmas there was an abundance of music to be had. One CD, in particular, Florence + the Machine's newest album-Ceremonials. Fabulous (as ever)!!!
I remember listening to my lovely (cheap) MP3 coming home. For those of you who don't live anywhere near me, IT'S COLD!!! But not cold enough for my heavy jacket-so I take a hoodie. But this particular day, the wind had picked up and I was getting chilled. I was almost home, and a song had finished on my MP3, and I decided I wanted to turn it off. But a very small voice in the back of my head said...
"STOP! If you turn that music off, you'll be even colder!"
Sure enough, I could feel a warmth radiat from my humble electronic. As the songs changed, a subtle chill settled on my bones, and I decided not to turn it off.
And I never have. My head constantly streams music 24/7-literally! In my dreams I hear it, and when I wake up, I have a new song in my head!
So for today, this is the song stuck in my head: Bedroom Hymns (FATM) As far as I'm concerned there is no sexual meaning (although I suppose you could take it that way-I TRY AND KEEP A CLEAN MIND!!!). She always has a good, driving beat, and I love it! Always have, and always will.
I (literally) take it with me everywhere I go. It's a cheap MP3-from Satan's 5-and-dime (Walmart, if you must)-but it works. I can access the radio and my own music downloaded from the computer, and I can take pictures and record video...but I hardly ever need the video/pic stuff. HOWEVER, I can record songs from the radio, which is fabulous (for someone who doesn't have an iTunes account).
I go to school, and it takes me almost an hour and half just to get there, so guess what? I NEED MY MUSIC. This really revs me up for the day, and sometimes I am even just a wee bit more outgoing. KT Tunstall's "Suddenly I See", for instance, is fabulous! Sometimes I feel like it's talking about me (although not always), and I just feel like, "YES!!! I can conquer the world today!"
For Christmas there was an abundance of music to be had. One CD, in particular, Florence + the Machine's newest album-Ceremonials. Fabulous (as ever)!!!
I remember listening to my lovely (cheap) MP3 coming home. For those of you who don't live anywhere near me, IT'S COLD!!! But not cold enough for my heavy jacket-so I take a hoodie. But this particular day, the wind had picked up and I was getting chilled. I was almost home, and a song had finished on my MP3, and I decided I wanted to turn it off. But a very small voice in the back of my head said...
"STOP! If you turn that music off, you'll be even colder!"
Sure enough, I could feel a warmth radiat from my humble electronic. As the songs changed, a subtle chill settled on my bones, and I decided not to turn it off.
And I never have. My head constantly streams music 24/7-literally! In my dreams I hear it, and when I wake up, I have a new song in my head!
So for today, this is the song stuck in my head: Bedroom Hymns (FATM) As far as I'm concerned there is no sexual meaning (although I suppose you could take it that way-I TRY AND KEEP A CLEAN MIND!!!). She always has a good, driving beat, and I love it! Always have, and always will.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)