This means that crowds induce anxiety. Being introduced to new groups induces anxiety. Exposing myself, especially to new people? Out of the question.
I read in a study somewhere that introverts are more likely to share more about themselves on blogs and online as opposed to in person, because they don't see their audience. As I began to write and publish blog posts, I thought, "If I wasn't willing to tell this to someone in person, why would I tell the whole blog-o-sphere?" It just didn't make any sense.
But I've found more often than not that written words worked better for me. If I'm talking to someone in person and we're having a conversation, my spoken words fail. They metaphorically trip over each other. I reword my reworded statements.
"I mean...uh...well... do you see what I mean?"
My husband says my favorite words are "Do you see what I mean? Do you understand?"
I don't mean it to sound like I treat people like they're stupid. I want to make sure I am understood, that people know what I mean to stay. Unplanned conversations don't always allow for that to happen.
The point of this post, dear readers, is where do I draw the line?
Too Much
You've met (or may even be) someone who gives a surplus of information. And I have been there. In that situation, I feel that I'd rather give too much information than not enough. What if I am unknowingly withholding a valuable piece of information? Sometimes, particularly in unplanned conversations, I 'think' out loud. My words rattle on as try to think of an appropriate phrase or word to fit the situation or emotion I am trying to convey.
Too Little
I come from a family that is verbose (read that: wordy). In school, my siblings and I inhaled the learning available to us. Spelling tests were a chance to exceed, and to learn new vocabulary. Scrabble was a chance to practice our new lexicon of words. I know that there have been times where I and/or my family seem a little...snobbish, for lack of a better term.
I always worried about looking too proud. Pride was to be avoided-I was brought up to be humble. So I kept quiet. Being an introvert adds to this section. I know that people ask questions such as "How are you?", even though they don't really want to know-it's just nice to ask. You've met people at parties who ask questions about your job, or family or social life, but you're never going to meet them again-why answer their questions?
More often than not, I've kept to myself. And this leads to people thinking I'm better than to talk to them. It's not true. I simply don't always know what to say. I don't want to say anything that's wrong, or offensive, or hurt somebody else, or... I feel like there are a multiplicity of negative consequences to say the wrong thing. But I want people to get to know me, too
So how does one draw the line?
