'Bang'-up Jokes

All right, I'm hopin' we got some good material here!

First of all, I FINALLY got a picture of my retarded bangs.




Yeah, I know. Really dorky. Anyway, I've been coming up with some good jokes here. I had a science teacher in ninth grade, and that was the ONLY way to 'sweeten' him up. He wasn't so mean to me and my friends after a couple of days of telling him jokes. It was great. Anyway...


Q: What's wrong with Chris Brown?
A: BEATS ME!!!! (I found this one in particular delightful)

A farmer, Osama Bin Ladin, and Pres. George w. Bush are stranded in the middle of nowhere. They suddenly find a lamp. They rub it, and POOF! Out comes a genie. The genie turns to the farmer. "What would YOU like?" He asks. "I would like a good crop for the rest of my life, so I can be happy." The genie nods his head, and says, "It is done." He then transports the farmer to his farm. The genie then turns to Osama Bin Ladin. "What would YOU like?"

"I would like a wall 20 ft. tall, 8 ft. thick, going around my WHOLE city. No one gets in, no one gets out." The genie nods its head and says, "Done." The genie then transports Osama Bin Ladin to his city, and the wall is there. The genie turns to Bush.

"What would YOU like?" He asks. "20 ft. tall, right?" Bush asks. The genie nods. "8 ft. thick, right?" Again, the genie agrees. (This is great)

"FILL IT WITH WATER."


That one puts a good spin on Bush. One of my faves. All right here's the last one. You might have heard it, but it's still good.

There are three men that all work in construction: a brunette, a red-head, and a blonde. One day, the brunette opens his lunch box and says, "Ah man! Ham and cheese again! If I get this ONE MORE TIME I'm going to jump from this building!" And proceeds to eat his lunch.

The red-head opens his lunch box and says, "Aw man! Ham and cheese again! If I get this ONE MORE TIME I'm going to jump from this building." And he proceeds to eat his lunch.

The blonde opens his lunch box and says, "Aw man! Ham and cheese again?! If I get this ONE MORE TIME I'm going to jump from this building." And HE proceeds to eat his lunch.

Well, wouldn't you know it? The next day, all get the SAME meal, and jump off the top of the building. The next day at the funeral, the brunette's wife says, "If he only had told me! I would have changed it!"

The red-head's wife says, "If I had ONLY known! I would've done something different!"

The blonde shrugs and says, "Eh. He packs his own lunch."

I have heard several variations on the joke, on food, where they work, etc., but it's all basically the same joke. Hope you enjoyed! There WILL be more coming, just FYI.