Shy

That is my #1 weakness, as well as my #1 strength: shy, or as I prefer to see it, being quiet.

I was once asked about by a superior at work. "You're pretty quiet, eh?" he said. I nodded. "Why?" I shrugged. "I think I'd rather be somebody who was quiet than someone who DOESN'T know when to shut up." He laughed, as he knew of some of our coworkers who DIDN'T (don't) know when to shut up. But it most definitely is not the last time it's been pointed out.

For another class, we had to put something about ourselves on a paper (nameless), and then copies would be handed out to each student for them to fill out and get to know the other people in the class. I put: I'm very shy. When all was said and done, the teacher then asked us each so we knew who put what about themselves. She reached mine. "I'm very shy. All right, who is it?" She knew who I was (i'd had her before), but for the class's benefit, right?

Very tentatively, I raised my hand. "There she is! Cassie!" she pointed to me. "Look how shy she is-raising her hand all quietly." That's just me!

There are good AND bad sides to it-for example, people don't know me a lot (pro to me, con to other people who think shy people are BAD), and don't realize I'm there: you wouldn't BELIEVE the gossip that goes around about other people: in school, in church, within my friends. HOLY. CRAP.

O.O

But people forget I'm there, and more often than not, never realize I'm there. I'm a fairly sensible person, so I usually keep it to myself...but can you say BLACKMAIL?  Bwahahaha....

Ahem.

Alas, there are cons. I don't have the nerve to dance in a small group (unless it's my firneds, in which case I don't look good dancing, anyway). Even in large groups I have a hard time, because I DON'T know these people. What if they laugh at me? What if I trip and make a COMPLETE fool of myself? (been there, done that). There are a series of life experiences that have lead to this shyness, but it does run in my genes. My grandpa hardly says a word-EVER. Sometimes he's talkative, but not often. Maybe I admired that as a kid, and ran after it... I dunno.

But my shyness also makes me a very private person. I don't share a lot of things, and today the only reason I'm telling you about this is because I'm bored and have basically nothing to do. But I don't voluntarily give information, because that sounds like bragging. Sometimes it's a good thing I'm shy, and sometimes it's not.... Meh.